I am 23. I'm married and have two kids. I didn't plan my life to be so full, so soon. But, I am devoted to making all concerned as happy as possible ... which means, I'm taking a utilitarian standpoint. I'm not getting much of what I wanted. I'm happy because I'm making them happy. I think I can live with this choice ... but, I have trouble from time to time - overwhelming urges to be totally selfish, haunting thoughts of an old flame (who still has feelings for me, after five years), etc. I'm currently having trouble, NOT because I plan to act on my feelings, MORE SO BECAUSE I can't stop these feelings of love for this other man. What do I do? Please, please, help. I don't want to disrespect my husband, family, or myself. But, I want so much of what is forbidden, and I can't stop thinking about it.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
No correspondence takes place.
No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.