I am looking for resource material or something to help cope with or where to draw the line at dealing with a spouse you has been diagnosed with depression. All the books I find are strictly for the depressed person(of which I am rapidly becoming one) but nothing on trying to keep a marriage together when your spouse is depressed. He is on an anti-depressant medication now, but it still hasn't helped other problems that have been created in our marriage because of the depression. Most importantly I don't know where to draw the line for dealing or putting up with his behavior. Basically being understanding and empathetic because it may be out of his control for a time verses I can't stand this behavior and I feel I am putting up with too much. We have 3 children so I want to do everything possible to keep my marriage together. Yet, which is the better environment for the kids that mom and dad are married and in the same home with one extremely dysfunctional person (maybe two now) Or that I separate from their father so We don't have to deal with all his depressive irregularities and problems. What is reasonable. When does compassion cross the line to co-dependant. Frankly I am sick to death of dealing with all his mental crap and am tired of working my butt of to get us ahead and then he has a depressive episode and completely destroys what I have accomplished emotionally and financially. He has not only wiped out our bank account but put us in the hole so I couldn't even pay rent with out borrowing money for our church or his parents twice in 4 years. Now he is on the medication but my trust level is zero. We have virtually no sex life now because of all the emotional upheaval this has caused me. I'm not even attracted to him any more.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
No correspondence takes place.
No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.