|
|
|
Basic InformationMore InformationTestsLatest NewsMarijuana Use Rising Among High School Seniors: Report'Predrinking' Nearly Doubles Booze Consumption: StudyIn Terms of Drinking, the Rich Are Different, Study SaysDelayed Auditory Processing Found in Fetal Alcohol SyndromeHeavy Smokers, Drinkers May Face Pancreatic Cancer Earlier in LifeDrinking, Driving Drops by Half Among Teens: CDCModerate Drinking May Increase Risk of Heart Rhythm Disorder: StudyHealth Tip: Don't Combine Medication and AlcoholWhy Some Mothers (Wrongly) Let Kids Try AlcoholAlcoholism Treatment Saves Families MoneyDoctors Should Screen Adults for Alcohol Misuse, U.S. Panel SaysPrescription Drug Abuse Drops Among U.S. Young AdultsCognitive Ability, Motivation Tied in Addictive BehaviorExtra Steps Urged to Cut Alcohol, Drug Use in Military: ReportQuitting Drinking May Help Alcoholics' Bone Loss'Doctor Shopping' Tied to Fatal Prescription Drug OverdosesHeavy Drinking Linked to Earlier StrokePot Use May Raise Risk of Testicular Cancer: StudyWomen's Brains React Differently Than Men's to Alcoholism, Study FindsHeavy Marijuana Use in Teen Years May Lower IQ LaterPrior Substance Abuse Linked to Opioid Abuse in Young MenTeens Who Drink, Smoke More Likely to Abuse Painkillers: StudyStudy Affirms Marijuana, 'Spice' Harmful in PregnancyBrain Scans May Spot Teens at Risk for Problem DrinkingBooze, Energy Drinks, Casual Sex Combo Common in College: Study'Bath Salts' Demonstrate High Potential for AbuseIllegal 'Bath Salts' Mimic Cocaine in the Brain: StudyEffects of Heavy Alcohol Exposure During Pregnancy EvaluatedHeavy Drinking in Pregnancy Linked to Host of Problems in ChildrenMom's Pot Use Doubles Risk of 'Preemie' Birth: Study'Abuse-Resistant' Oxycontin May Be Driving Addicts to HeroinTeach Prescribers About Dangers of Long-Acting Pain Meds: FDAMethadone for Pain Relief Leading Cause of Fatal Overdoses: CDCSummer Is Peak Time for Teens to Try Drugs, Alcohol: Report40 Million Americans Addicted to Cigarettes, Alcohol or Drugs1 in 10 Fibromyalgia Patients Uses Marijuana to Ease PainGenes May Influence Reactions to PainkillersMore Mental Health Woes in College Kids Who Abuse Prescription DrugsTeen Drinkers May Feel Like Social Outcasts: StudyState Laws Cut Teen Drinking and Driving, Large Study ShowsMental Health Woes Raise Odds for Prescription Painkiller AbuseNeural Link Between Resiliency and Alcohol, Drug Use Identified Questions and AnswersBook ReviewsSelf-Help Groups |
| |
Is the memory of my father dooming my relationship?Sat, Jan 12th 2008Hello Dr Schwartz. Please help me: I have been in a relationship with a man who is kind but has smoked cannabis for twenty years and also drank up to one and a half bottles of whiskey every week, along with several bottles of red wine. I did not know this when we met and by the time I realised a couple of months later it was too late, I had fallen in love. To be fair he has given up the cannabis (a year ago) but can't stop smoking tobacco and he has reduced his alcohol intake although he still has to have some alcohol every day, be it beer or wine. If he has to go without he isn't happy about it but at least he can do that for a day; last year he would pretend to go without but indulged in secret drinking. I appreciate the efforts he has made but my father was an alcoholic (it killed him) and he also smoked cannabis and took other drugs for most of his adult life. I am the exact opposite, never smoke, hardly touch alcohol and am a fitness instructor at a gym. I get upset when my partner has to have alcohol every day. Am I being unreasonable? Is it normal to have a couple of alcoholic drinks every day? I do not know. None of my friends do this. He said he needed the alcohol and cannabis to help him with stress but he works from home and does not have a stressful job. I do understand that people manage stress in different ways but I do not think it is realistic or safe to depend on drugs as a way of coping. He used to have terrible mood swings but has been better of late. I love him but my fear is that he will eventually return to his former habits and I will end up like my mother in a bad relationship controlled by alcohol and drugs. Am I being too hard on him? I just do not know. Thank you. Kind regards, Elizabeth. THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
|
