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I get violentWed, Jul 25th 2007Hi there... I have a really big problem... Occasionally when i'm drunk, I get violent with my boyfriend. We've not been back together long since it broke us up before, but on saturday I got really out of control. I dont remember any of it, but he's told me what I was saying and doing. It seems that I say anything I can to hurt him and push him away. Some of the things I say may have some truth to them, but I wouldn't dream of saying them normally, and some things I totally don't mean at all... It's like he becomes my enemy. I have no respect for him and just want to hurt him in anyway that I can... I keep telling him to go away, but in the worst way you could imagine. He loves me so much, so he wont leave, he'll just keep taking it from me. I think it lasted for 3 hours on saturday. I have never had this problem before with anyone, and i cant figure out why it happens. I have been trying to overcome some issues I have for the last 3 years, but all the various routes I have tried haven't really helped. I do need more therapy, and I was thinking about cognitive behavioural therapy, but I dont know if that would help with this problem. I know that I need to talk to someone about all of this, but I dont know who. There most definitely are underlying causes to this problem, but I cant figure it out, and having tried so many forms of therapy, I dont really want to waste time doing the wrong thing. I really need to sort this out, asap! I have never had this problem with anyone before. I really do love my boyfriend, he's amazing with my disabled son, and puts up with the roller coaster I ride with my depression, but this is too much for him to take, and I dont want it to ever happen again. I cant live with the shame I feel because of it. I dont want to hurt him, I love him.. but why do I do it to him?! If you have any advice, i'd be very very greatful. THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
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- No correspondence takes place.
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- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
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